Lyst-less RTE should put Pat in his place

Against the Breeze
by Paddy Heaney

First Published 20/01/2009

INTRODUCING strangers to Gaelic football can be a very revealing experience. An objective appraisal from a pair of untrained eyes will provide information we may or may not want to hear.

Over the years, I’ve brought a variety of people to matches or watched games on television with them. Almost without fail, the response is the same. Two themes predominate. The first is, not surprisingly, the tackle. Or, to be more precise, the lack of a properly-defined tackle. Newcomers struggle to understand why some tackles constitute a foul while others do not.

When faced with this query, I always provide the same answer. I tell them not to worry because it’s a subject that causes universal confusion – that’s part of the joy of it.

The second characteristic of Gaelic football which they find utterly baffling is, wait for it – Pat Spillane.
They are utterly baffled how a man who looks and sounds like Pat got a job normally reserved for silver-tongued types.

This particular phenomenon is not as easy to explain. To a certain extent, it is an Irish quirk. It could only happen in this country. It could also only happen in RTE.

And having made a right old pig’s ear of ‘The Late Late Show,’ which marked the GAA’s 125th anniversary, I decided that enough is enough. By this point it’s clear that RTE can’t be trusted when it comes to covering Gaelic Games. They need help.

In many ways, Pat Spillane embodies the lack of regard that RTE seems to hold for the people who watch the sport that provides them with their biggest viewing figures every year. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve no personal grudge against Spillane.

As a GAA pundit, he is peerless. But as a TV anchor, he ranks in the same division as the late Richard Whitely of Countdown – a man who proved that practice doesn’t necessarily make perfect.

So, rather than complain when the new Championship season is up and running, I thought it would be better to get the boot in now when there is time for the boys at Montrose to make the necessary changes.

There are a number of reasons why the eight-time All-Ireland medallist is totally unsuited to presenting The Sunday Game.

We’ll start with the obvious stuff. A good sports anchor should fulfil some basic criteria. They should be smooth and polished. Think Des Lynam, or the late David Vine. Pat is already struggling. More importantly again, they must be able to do their job without being seen to do their job. Like a good referee, they should be in total control, while also being invisible.

When done well, it looks incredibly easy, and perhaps this is part of the reason why the excellent Michael Lyster has never received the fulsome praise he deserves. Lyster is everything that Spillane isn’t. You could watch Lyster for many years without knowing what county he is from.

In the absence of anyone else being in the same league as the Galway man, it is time Lyster was brought back as anchor of The Sunday Game. GAA fans are envious every time they tune in to watch a major soccer game on RTE.

The wonderful Bill O’Herlihy is a treat to watch as he gently prods, cajoles and teases superb debate, rants and opinions from Dunphy, Giles and AN Other.

There is a skill in chairing a show, and Spillane has proved beyond immeasurable doubt that he doesn’t have it.

Spillane’s preferred style is one of his problems. His ‘Jeremy Paxman’ approach just doesn’t work. It’s good that he has no time for the type of ambiguous, wishy-washy responses that he is constitutionally incapable of providing.

But his method of extracting straight answers to straight questions is all wrong.
Jeremy Paxman interrogates politicians and ministers who are trained to deal with hostile interviews. Spillane works with men who want to give out a few soundbites for a few quid.

Spillane’s adversarial techniques often only succeed in putting his guests further into their shell.
He’s like a bullying barrister who wants to leave his witness a weeping wreck.

His bouts with Anthony Tohill are typical. They tend to go something like this.
Pat: “An-tinny, last week you told us Dublin were going to win. You were wrrrong. Tell us why were you wrrrong?
Anthony: [Pause] “I don’t know if...”
Pat: “You did. You did. Tell us why you were wrrrong?”
Anthony, after forcing another smile, will then try and give some explanation before he is later interrupted.

It doesn’t make pleasant viewing and it’s time RTE ended the torture of Tohill and their viewers.
RTE’s misguided decision to cast their most controversial pundit as a presenter was probably a result of copying BBC.

They saw the Beeb giving Gary Lineker, the golden boy of English soccer, a similar post with Match of the Day, and they followed suit. The anodyne Lineker has learned his trade and does a decent job.

But Spillane holds the same unflinching gaze when reading the autocue as he did when he started. Ironically, the shortcomings which make Spillane a poor host, also make him a fantastic pundit.

He is bursting with opinions and attitude. And, unlike many of the GAA’s talking heads, he doesn’t care who he offends. He has caused as many rows in his native Kerry as anywhere else. To date, he is the only GAA pundit who can rank alongside Eamonn Dunphy in terms of creating a national furore.

‘Puke football’. You may agree or disagree with the sentiment. But it was an original and emotive phrase which perfectly encapsulated Spillane’s disgust at the 2003 All-Ireland semi-final. Then there was the comment about his granny being able to beat Francie Bellew in a race. The list goes on.

By shoe-horning Spillane into the anchor role on The Sunday Game, RTE have hand-cuffed and gagged their prized commentator. It’s a ridiculous scenario. Lyster and Spillane have a talent for the small screen but they have been managed poorly by RTE.

In football parlance, the broadcaster has been keeping Lyster on the subs’ bench, while they’ve been playing Spillane, their best forward, in goals. A football manager wouldn’t get away with it, and RTE shouldn’t be allowed to either.